My heart is racing

I'm getting angry at the boy this morning and I need a break. I'm stopping now so I can find unconditionality. I've sent him to time out in his room three times this morning for jumping on and hitting his sister. This approach doesn't seem to be working and I don't feel like a gentle and patient parent right now. The baby isn't helping. She keeps walking down the hallway to see him over and over again...I need a gate...I need another adult here to take over so I don't explode. I wish I had some extended family close by. This is not me giving up, but this is me being tired of a 3 year old yelling at me like he's a teenager. It's not clear to me if all the problems I have with him is because of me, or his temperament, or his age...or all three. I'm hoping that when school begins this fall that a lot of our issues will resolve because he needs more stimulation in a calmer environment, or rather, with well-trained calmer adults. I suppose we all do. Is that why some SAHM's seek the work force again? I've enjoyed staying at home, up to a point (that point was when the boy turned 2 and I became pregnant) then everything seemed to get out of control. I think the way he gets frustrated and anxious and is shy and cautious are all symptoms of being my son. My parents claim my sister and I never acted the way he does- not listening and throwing tantrums in public...But maybe they've just forgotten all the not-so-fun and challenging times of parenting a young child. Since I began writing this post over twenty minutes ago, I have been interrupted numerous times and his one time out that is supposed to last three minutes, still hasn't seen the end. Correction, he finished the original time out but then shortly after he jumped on my back and hit me so he got a new one. Oh, what fresh hell is this?