Sleep escapes me

Sleep mocks me, laughing and teasing, with the aid of two children. This sleepless affair began sometime during my first pregnancy and I have yet to see the night light at the end of the tunnel. Sleeplessness during that time was tortuous due to the constant waking from the need to urinate and the consciousness that is required to twist a bohemith belly. The four foot body length pillow became a third partner in the marital thorn that was No Sex. I was caught in a catch-22 during the twilight hours: mommy and baby required plenty of water to remain healthy and yet, mommy required sleep to maintain a healthy pregnancy. The solution? I took naps at work. The onset of labor was disguised as a trip to the bathroom in fact. I woke around 1:00 a.m. with the familiar pressure on my bladder, sat up and walked towards the bathroom. I was half way there when a gush of liquid released itself between my legs and I scurried to the toilet. But I'll stop here, because that is a different story.

I believe prenatal sleeping habits are designed to ease the woman into the rocky cavern that is Sleep with a Newborn. I don't need to know if my theory is correct, it simply made the transition more bearable for me after my son was born. My boy was high needs, colicky and enjoyed nursing every two hours for at least thirty minutes in one sitting. He also took short naps during the day and slept no more than two hours at a time during the night- for four months. He began to sleep three to four hours at a time and that lasted til he was two or so. But I was a soldier and let my husband sleep while I got up in the night to nurse him back to sleep. I sat in a chair to nurse him because I couldn't figure out how to do so lying down. Luckily, this wonderful way to nurse came easily with my second child and I'm still enjoying latching a babe to my breast while semi-conscious. Although my girl is a better sleeper than my boy was at her age, now I deal with musical beds. Both children must go to sleep in their own beds but when they wake up during the night, they're allowed to come to the bed with my husband and I. We have only a queen sized bed which makes for a tight fit for the four of us, so if the baby is in our bed and the boy comes in, I take her to lie down in his bed. I'm pretty happy with this arrangement...I love being beside my sleeping children, but, I am tired...

My son has always woken early, usually around 7:00 a.m. I haven't used an alarm clock for nearly four years. Every morning I hear "Mama, get up. Mama, get up. Mama, wake up!" I drowsily sit up and make an attempt to wake up per his request but usually suggest he go to the living room or bathroom, claiming I'll be there "in a minute". In the past my groggy deceitfulness worked and I'd fall back onto the pillow to claim a few more minutes rest. But he is wise to my game now and waits for my eyes to close so he can continue his assault.

My lack of sleep isn't nearly as severe as it used to be in my early days of mothering and certainly isn't as bad as what other moms I know experience, but, it does reveal itself daily in small ways. I can fall asleep anytime, anywhere- just give me the okay and I'm out. I will put a filter in the coffee maker and a second later, try to add another filter, only to see that I've already added one. I have a hard time making grocery lists because by the time I walk from the bathroom to the kitchen with the intent to write down "toothpaste", I've forgotten what we needed. Here is an excellent example of how sleep deprivation has caused trouble for me recently: Two nights ago the boy came to our bed in the middle of the night and asked for water. I left the bed to get him some but wasn't fully conscious. Somewhere between our bedroom at the back of the house and our dining room in the front, my body transported me via sleepwalk express through the house. I was awoken instantly by the surprise of a cat leaping into my arms and leaving a three inch scratch on my wrist. I held the purring cat in a state of shock, considered the pain above my hand and wondered why I was out of bed... Oh yes, water.

Is there a lesson to be learned? Go to bed earlier, perhaps? Have the husband get up with the children more often? Wear protective gear before going to bed in case of surprise cat-ball? Hmm, I'll consider my options over a cup of coffee.